Broken Prayer: Defects and Habits to Avoid

Have you heard the one about the non-believer who never prayed a day in his life and, when about to be eaten by a bear, cries out in supplication to the God he has ignored or denied his entire life, uttering “ I promise to believe in you if you answer this one prayer: Please make this bear a believer !”  To his shock, the bear, on top of him ready to have lunch, suddenly stops, folds its hands in prayer before its meal!

How many of us are much like that non-believer, treating prayer like some jumper cable we keep in the trunk of our car, only to be used in emergencies?  Even worse, do we fancy ourselves prayer masters, comforted in our pretend piety when, in fact, our prayer is riddled with defects and poor habits that render our prayer useless and even destructive?   I once read that false security is far worse than no security for, at least, the ones without security know they are vulnerable while the former ones are oblivious of just how vulnerable they are.

 Five Prayer Defects

• Mechanical Mouth…..Do we pray mechanically, as if prayer is rooted in the mouth and not the heart and soul? Do we merely recite words without thinking of God or while thinking of everything but God? Is our prayer about sounds over substance, and noise over meaning?   Such prayer is like an empty gong, mere bells and whistles detached from true, sincere connection with God Almighty.
• Superstitious Supplication…Do we treat prayer like some spiritual Pez dispenser whereby we insert empty words and get blessings or requests in return? Prayer is not about formulaic manipulation or warped trust in our own religious performance. Do we see prayer like a vending machine more about the prayer itself than the God prayer should be directed to?
• Pompous Public Pride……..Are we no different than the prideful Pharisee ( Lk 18:9-14) using prayer to present himself superior to the humble tax collector? Do we consciously or unconsciously use prayer to inflate our ego, proclaiming and pretending ourselves closer to salvation than others?
• Bargain Bartering….Do we treat prayer like some business transaction, treating God like some service provider we push aside when not needed or not in use? Whenever we gripe about our prayers not being answered, are we not simply complaining that we have not gotten what we “paid” for in prayer?
• Fearful Façade……Do we see prayer as some get-out-of-jail card, providing us with a cushion against hell or purgatory? Is our prayer more about fear than love?  The traditional Act of Contrition mentions this position, but quickly encourages us to grow toward the love of God as our core motivation in prayer.

Seven Destructive Prayer Habits

• Continued Attachment to Habitual Sin….Do we meditate on the Wounds of Christ only to later inflict wounds on others through gossip etc? Does our prayer become a hypocritical, empty proclamation in favor of virtues we repeatedly and habitually contradict? Our prayer should be a staircase toward Christ not an empty, phony pretense that only slips us further from our Lord.
• The Unforgiving Servant Sequel….Are we like the unforgiving servant (Mt 18:21–35), pleading for Our Lord’s forgiveness while refusing to forgive others? Do we seek God’s compassion and mercy in prayer even as our hard hearts refuse to completely absolve, without condition, those we see as daring to harm us in any way?
• Justified Alibi for Neglecting Duties… Do we use prayer to replace our mouths for our hands? Is it all about words uttered in some corner while never going out into the mud of human suffering to actually put those words into action?  Do we spend hours praying for human suffering to be alleviated while never moving a finger to alleviate anyone’s suffering ourselves?
• Spiritual Greed….Do we see prayer as some credit system where we accumulate points we can store only for ourselves in times of need? Do we never or rarely pray for others but direct our attention mostly toward our own salvation?  Have we treated prayer like a bunch of lifesavers we grasp in the stormy sea of life while ignoring our drowning neighbors?
• Pompous Presumption….Do we assume and presume that our prayers protect us from perdition like some insurance policy? Christ cannot forgive those who think they do not need forgiveness, save those who believe that they do not need saving, nor help those who think they do not need any help. The minute we see prayer as some discount coupon on salvation is the precise moment we lose the graces of Christ’s compassion and mercy.
• Continued Rejection of Our Crosses….Do we feel betrayed by God whenever He wills, in His Providence, to send us setbacks, infirmities, and challenges? Do we see prayer as a petition away from the cross? Let us recall that Our Lord, in his humanity, transcended his initial prayer to avoid suffering into sacred obedience and trust in his Father’s Will.  Prayer should sustain and support our embrace of our crosses, not serve as a justification for bitter avoidance of those very ladders to sanctity!
• Path to Fear over Loving Trust at Death…By our stance and practice of prayer, we will etch our stance and approach to our own moment of death. Do we use prayer as an instrument of fear or loving trust in God?  Are we moving to our inevitable passing from this world, clinging and grasping to feeble prayers like pieces to clutch on at our death?  If we allow our prayer to be about fear, presumption, or self, we are clinging to fool’s gold.  By contrast, to the degree that we embrace prayer as being about love, humility, trust, God, and others, we are converting our prayer into true steps toward the sanctity God wishes for us !

Conclusion

In reflecting upon these defects and poor habits regarding prayer, I began trying to present some helpful reflections on these issues. However, as I worked on this piece, I realized two difficult realities.  First, I have been guilty of all of these defects and poor habits more continuously and consistently than I care to remember.  Second, these reflections are an excellent Examination of Prayer that can help us take our prayer and the environment and tone of our prayer to another level.

Briefly stated, we are all tainted by the me-ism of sin and this distorted world so steeped in self.  Each and every harmful prayer defect and habit discussed above is rooted in lover of self over love of God and others. May we grow in the humility, obedience, gratitude, and self-awareness to transform our prayer from self-service to service of God and others.  As we do, we may learn the sacred lesson that the more we selflessly and sincerely give, the more we will receive in abundance from a loving God Who desires and has invested so much in our eternal destiny!